


Pretending

by Of_Heaven_And_Hell



Series: New Beginnings [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, How Do I Tag, I Blame Tumblr, Idk i was inspired, Random & Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-19
Updated: 2015-12-19
Packaged: 2018-05-07 16:26:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5463281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Of_Heaven_And_Hell/pseuds/Of_Heaven_And_Hell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Murphy had always told himself that he couldn't have friends, couldn't rely on anyone but himself. It was the only rule he forced himself to live by. He had long ago accepted that he would never trust anyone and would never be trusted by anyone. It didn't even bother him anymore. Until one day it did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pretending

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Leave prompts down below and constructive criticism is always welcome. Please leave kudos if you enjoyed.

Murphy had always told himself that he couldn't have friends, couldn't rely on anyone but himself. It was the only rule that he had forced himself to live by. He had long ago accepted that he would never trust anyone and would never be trusted by anyone. It didn't even bother him anymore. Until one day it did.

 

Earth, despite being dreadful and dangerous, quickly became a place of second chances for the overzealous teenagers. And in spite of himself, Murphy could feel the beginning of hope growing inside him, twisting and weaving itself through his gut. It was new and scary and unwanted but it was there nonetheless. It was easy to hope when he saw two headed deer and poison fog everyday. Things that weren't normal happened all the time on Earth.

And that was okay, John Murphy was nothing if not adaptable. He had to be in order to survive and if he was being honest, he was damn proud of it. After all that adaptability had gotten him through the floating of a father and the abuse of a mother, even through seeing the face of the person- Chancellor Jaha- who had caused it everyday. So yes, he was quite pleased to survive through it all on his own (at least, he had been on the ark). 

The ark was undoubtedly a blessing but it was also confining. It stifled the people's creativity and personality and hope. It was shades of bleak gray that made the citizens forget that there were other colors out there. Earth wasn't like that. From the moment Murphy stepped onto it, he saw all the colors he had been missing. Earth was bright and inviting, full of unexpected surprises and full of maybe-fulfilled promises and full of Raven.

Okay, so maybe the world wasnt actually full of Raven but it might as well have been. Her voice made everyone stop to listen and her personality soon outgrew the tiny camp they called home. And she was somehow always, always in Murphy's way.

All he had to do was keep himself numb. But when she was around he began to feel. Feel the sweat pool in the palms of his hands. Feel his heart as it pounded in his eardrums, vibrating throughout his entire being. Feel his breath hitch in an attempt to hear whatever amazingly interesting thing she had to say (and then feel the annoyance as the sarcastic message tumbled out of her mouth). So, yea, maybe it wasn't that what she was saying was interesting so much as it was that it was interesting that she was saying it to him. Most people didn't talk to him and those who did never looked him in the eye. They certainly didn't act as if it was an important part of their day. Earth had been a way to get away from those who hated him, but he had found many more of those down there too. Apparently hating him was a universal pastime.

But Raven didn't hate him. At least not any more than she hated everyone else. And so, against his will, Murphy began to hope. With each conversation, with each passing glance and helpful gesture he could feel it growing inside him. It took over him, wrapping itself around his heart and changing it until eventually it found its way to his vocal cords, spilling out from him in nervous fits of bravery and trust that for once in his whole life, weren't misplaced.

 

Raven never questioned the scars on his body from fights and mishaps with grounders and she never blamed him or cared about how they badly affected his appearance. Raven never questioned the scars on his personality from unresolved anger and memories of hateful guardians either and she never blamed him or cared about how they badly affected his relationship skills. She found it in herself to love him as he was, not as she thought he could one day turn out to be. She accepted his flaws without hoping that they might one day go away or change into something more manageable. She thought of him as a finished product and not the mangled rough draft that circumstances had turned him into. And he found it in himself to love her even more for it.

**Author's Note:**

> Come and say hi, or leave prompts, on my tumblr: devotedlydecaffeinatedtyrant


End file.
